No Regrets: Jani Kay (Firebird Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  My cousin, Jade, had messaged from Los Angeles, telling me that although things were still shaky regarding their family situation, she was happy. But more than being delighted for her sake, I was envious. Not because I didn’t wish Jade all the happiness in the world with the love of her life—I did. She was a smart young woman and I loved her to bits. It was just that I wanted the same. Especially when she described how Ryder was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her. From what she’d said, I picked up that Ryder would fight for Jade until his last breath.

  I didn’t know about other women, but that was what I wanted. I wanted a man who would love me so much he’d give up everything to be with me. A man who would fight the obstacles blocking our way, proving I was worth fighting for.

  My phone rang in my purse. I dashed to grab it before it stopped, wanting to hear a voice on the other end. Someone to take my mind off my wretchedness.

  “Jade, how bizarre. I was just thinking about you earlier.”

  “Telepathy, cousin.” Her laugh sent a pang through me. She sounded so damn cheerful. I wanted that too. Desperately. “Look, I just wanted to thank you for coming to visit us in LA. Mom misses her Australian family and had been dying for you to visit us. But now the crazy woman is organizing for us to go skiing over Christmas. She was wondering if you’d like to join us.”

  “I’m not sure, Jade. I have all these workshops lined up.” I sighed. “But Sylvia is as good as my own mum when it comes to making a girl feel good about herself. I miss that.”

  “What’s wrong, Rebecca? You sound as if you’re in need of a huge hug, honey.” The concern in her voice made the back of my throat prickle. She knew me well enough to pick up if I was lying, so I just told her the truth.

  “I’m so tired. I’ve been working extra hard in an attempt to get over Alain. And it’s just drained me. I think I’m finally over him, but I’m feeling battered and bruised to be honest.” I hated sounding depressed and bringing her joyful mood down, but I needed someone to simply vent my feelings to who wouldn’t judge me. I’d been there for her when she went through a rough patch with Ryder, and now it was her turn to help me through this.

  “Aww, I’m so sorry for you. It’s never easy, is it?” Her voice sounded loving and sympathetic, which only made the burning thickness in my throat worse. I didn’t want to cry. I sucked in a deep shaky breath and let it out slowly before answering.

  “Yes, Alain isn’t easy to forget. He’s a wonderful man. I really believed he was my future.” I blinked away the tears sitting on the brim of my lashes. How does one get over a man like Alain and learn to love again? I didn’t know if I had it in me to be so brutally disappointed again. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have a happily ever after. The thought gutted me.

  I rubbed the heel of my palm into my chest, massaging the spot where my heart sat.

  “But what about Max?” Jade asked softly.

  Maxwell Grant. Somehow I could never escape him.

  “What about Max?” I repeated, my hackles going up immediately.

  “Look, honey, it’s not because Max is Ryder’s brother or anything like that, but it’s clear Max is besotted by you. That night he took us to dinner in New York, he couldn’t take his damn eyes off you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes as the memories flooded back. It had gone so smoothly, as if we were a real couple enjoying one another’s company, and I had a great time in spite of my reticence.

  “He blindsided me completely. I never expected him to be so damn nice.” I sucked in a breath. Jade hadn’t seen his asshole side—he probably reserved that specially for me, and in a way I was grateful for that because arrogant and cocky Maxwell Grant was far easier to deal with than sweet and caring Max. “He’s married, Jade. That’s three men in a row in my life who are committed to other women. I’m not having any of that bullshit. Max is off limits. End of story.”

  “Then I shouldn’t tell you what Ryder told me about Max and your LA visit,” Jade chuckled softly.

  I swallowed hard. “Dammit, Jade, you can’t say shit like that and not have me burning with curiosity,” I scolded, not sure if I really wanted to hear what she was dying to tell me. The real reason for her call, no doubt.

  “How badly do you want to know then?” Jade teased, giggling. I rolled my eyes. She was nearly seven years younger than me, and sometimes she lacked maturity. Like now.

  “Spit it out, Cuz. Don’t make me get on a plane to strangle you.” I tried to keep my tone light, but underneath, I was seething. What did Max and Ryder have to do with my LA trip?

  “Okay, but only if you promise not to shoot the messenger,” she said hesitantly.

  “Jade!” I yelled, exasperated.

  “Okay, okay.” She took a deep breath. “Ryder said Max had called him a week before you came to LA and asked him to keep an eye on you, your safety. He was concerned about you being in LA alone.”

  I exploded. “What? How dare he—”

  “Well, don’t get so mad, because technically, it was that night which finally made Ryder decide he wanted to be with me.” She breathed hard, as if she had just run around the block.

  It started to make sense now. “The night at the club? So that’s why he was following me?”

  “Yes. Because Max had asked him too. Then when he saw Lexi and me with you, he called in reinforcements. He promised Max to look out for you, but he hadn’t bargained on us being there.”

  Not being able to stop myself, I started laughing. “Oh, my God. It’s hilarious, actually. Ryder follows me because his brother got him to babysit, and then sees you go off with Cowboy. Priceless.”

  Jade laughed too. “It’s funny now. Wasn’t at the time, but luckily, he had Ratbag there to watch over you when Razor flipped over Lexi’s stunt and he came after Cowboy.”

  After a while, our laughing subsided and I shook my head, still puzzled. “I still don’t get why Maxwell asked Ryder to watch over me?”

  “Well, I can give you Ryder’s interpretation if you want to hear it?” Jade offered sheepishly. Inwardly, Jade had to cringe at some of the things her man said. He was blunt and to the point, never mincing his words. That was something I appreciated about him because I always knew exactly where I stood with Ryder. The strong bond he had with Maxwell was undeniable.

  I rolled my eyes and snorted. “I can just imagine Ryder’s version. But yeah, tell me what he said. Maxwell is his brother after all, so he should understand him better than I do.”

  “Okay, but you know Ryder is direct, yes? His words were ‘that he’d never seen his brother so cunt-struck’. And that’s a direct quote.” She giggled nervously as she said the C-word.

  Wow. Ryder sure had a way with words. My brow furrowed at the thought of my well-educated cousin falling for a man like him. It was so improbable that they’d be a couple, but Jade wouldn’t fall for him if he didn’t have some redeeming qualities. Underneath the badass biker front was a smart, intelligent man who would give his life for his loved ones.

  She must have sensed my hesitation and surprise. “Listen, Rebecca. I know what you’re thinking and let me tell you, nobody judged Ryder harder than I did. But he is a good man, good to the bone. So is Max. I wish you could see that. You wouldn’t find a man who shows more loyalty to those he loves than Ryder, and from what I’ve learned of Max, he seems the same. You could do a lot worse than to be cared for by a man like him.” Her voice was softer now, and I felt her sincerity.

  “Hmm, that may all be true, Jade. You’ve just forgotten one small issue—no scrap that—in my book it’s a huge issue. He’s married, remember?” It didn’t matter how many times Maxwell’s brilliance was pointed out to me or how much he supposedly cared for me, that one single factor was a deal breaker.

  Jade cleared her throat before speaking. “I don’t know why I have a feeling there’s more to the story than we know. Maxwell doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who’s a cheater. I can’t place my
finger on it, but a man who has such a big heart isn’t going to break the heart of the woman he has taken to be his wife.”

  “Well, Miss Jade, if you figure it out, be sure to call me and explain it. As long as Natasha Brighton aka Mrs. Grant exists, I’m not going there.”

  “Just think about it, Becca. Speak to Max. Find out what the deal is with Natasha—it may not be what it seems at all. You’ll never know if you don’t get to the bottom of it and I’d hate for you to miss out on something that could be great if given half a chance.” She paused for a breath. “Promise you’ll give it thought?”

  “I will. Bye, honey. Thanks for the call.”

  “Becca?”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t give up on Max before you know the whole story. Give him the chance to explain. Just listen, that’s all I’m asking.”

  “Okay. I promise I will.”

  I sat on the couch for a while after hanging up, staring out of the window without really seeing anything. Maxwell was such a contradiction and he intrigued me like no other man. The way my body reacted around him was frustrating and beyond my control. But he had a wife, which meant no matter how flattered I was that everyone thought he cared about me, it couldn’t ever really mean anything more.

  Could it?

  Was Jade right? Was there more to Maxwell’s story? I had a feeling she was on to something. Stretching my mind and imagination, I tried to come up with possible scenarios, from ludicrous to impossible. In the end, I was just driving myself crazy with speculation. It would be infinitely better to get the true story—if there was indeed one—directly from Max himself.

  I made up my mind to stop and listen next time Maxwell tried to speak to me. Even if he confirmed that he was very much married to Natasha and planned to stay that way, I’d have a direct answer to the myriad questions mulling in my head. Whatever he told me would be better than this guessing game I’d been playing with him. It would also be my opportunity to ask him to stop chasing after me and saying the inappropriate things he did.

  Chapter 7 – Rebecca

  “Oh, my God,” I squealed into my phone, “that’s the best news ever. I’m so excited; I’m going to jump right out of my skin.” I babbled non-stop for another minute or two before I hung up. I’d set the treadmill to a lower speed as soon as I answered my phone and saw the call was from my youngest sister back in Australia. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while and I really missed both my sisters more than I cared to admit.

  “What’s making you so happy this morning?” Kurt wiped the sweat from his brow with the towel hanging around his neck.

  “My baby sister. She’s coming to Munich for my birthday.” For the first time in weeks I felt genuine happiness surge through me. I smiled from ear to ear, already planning all the things we would do together.

  He took a sip of water from his bottle. “That’s Lily, right?”

  “Yeah, she booked her ticket today. I'm so excited. I thought I’d be alone on my thirtieth birthday.” I noticed the hurt in Kurt’s eyes and immediately I wanted to kick my own arse for being so blunt.

  “You have me, Rebecca. I’ll celebrate with you.” He got off the stationary bike he’d just done forty minutes of intensive cycling on. Sweat poured down the sides of his face and his sleeveless tank top was drenched. Yet he still managed to look hot. I, on the other hand, was puffing and probably looked a hot mess. Kurt stretched his hamstrings, waiting for my response.

  “Of course I’ll have my new best buddy to celebrate with me. I was referring to family.” I laughed up at him as I swatted his arm. Kurt had become my mentor and my best friend in only a few weeks. He pulled me out of my depression and showed me there was more to life than moping about a man. I was grateful for the way he accepted me for who I was. Even though I’d told him the whole story about Alain, he never once judged me or told me I was crazy for trusting a stranger.

  Ironically, I’d done it again; I trusted Kurt from the day I met him.

  “Um, I had another phone call earlier. From Maxwell. He’s summoned me to New York over the weekend. Some huge function he’s organized as a fundraiser. He wants me to be the hostess.”

  His head jerked up from where he’d been stretching his back and arms. He also knew everything about my boss and how I felt about him. “That’s pretty short notice. Are you going?”

  “Yes. I'm sorry about our trip to Heidelberg we’d planned for the weekend. We’ll have to do that some other time. Maybe when Lily is here?” I said softly.

  He shrugged as if he didn’t care, but the hurt that flashed across his face was hard to ignore. “Kurt, its part of my contract. When my boss asks me to go to New York, I don’t really have a choice.”

  “Why does it have to be over the weekend? We already have plans, and my parents are looking forward to meeting you.”

  I couldn’t explain why I was so eager to go to New York this time. Since Maxwell had called three hours ago, my stomach had been in a knot. I couldn’t get Jade’s words out of my head either. I’d jogged over to Kurt’s place for our usual workout, as buzzed as if I'd had tons of caffeine. And while I usually only managed a twenty minute jog on the treadmill, I’d been so pumped that I jogged an extra ten minutes till I ran out of breath, all the time thinking about Maxwell.

  Maybe this would be our chance to talk. Since I’d made up my mind to find out more, something inside me opened up to the possibility that Jade could be right.

  “It’s a really important charity event, Kurt. I'm so honored to be hosting it. It's one that’s close to my heart.” Not only was I trying to justify myself to Kurt, but if I was perfectly honest I was also trying to convince myself the flutters I felt were because of the event and not because I’d be seeing Maxwell.

  He gave me a crooked smile. “Let me guess. It's to benefit homeless people?”

  I laughed, nodding. “You know me too well. And that’s why I really want to go this time.” I reprogrammed the treadmill for another round of interval training. If I wanted my butt to look good in an evening dress, I’d have to work out extra hard.

  Kurt’s eyes widened. “You’re doing another round? Usually I have to virtually beat you to finish one.” He smirked as he watched me pound the mat, my heavy breathing making it impossible to talk. “Don’t kill yourself now.”

  I grinned at him and wished I’d taken the training over the last few weeks more seriously. Already I’d improved my eating habits, thanks to Kurt, and I was fitter than I'd been in years. Twenty minutes later, my knees were ready to buckle under me and I felt a burn in my muscles that felt surprisingly good.

  Stepping off the treadmill, sweat poured down my face. I wiped it away with the towel Kurt handed to me, panting for air. I sat on the floor, stretching my tired legs and drinking greedily from my water bottle, watching Kurt as he stood in front of the full-length mirrored wall lifting weights.

  His gaze slid to mine in the mirror. “When are you leaving?”

  Red-faced, I huffed out my reply. “Tomorrow morning at six am. I want to get there a day before so I can check everything out, and I have a speech to prepare too. I’ll do that during the flight.”

  “Sounds like you have it all planned out, huh?”

  “Not quite. I still need to pack tonight. I’ll catch a taxi to the airport tomorrow.” Kurt placed the weights back on the rack and sat on the floor in front of me, helping me with my stretches.

  “I’ll miss you, Rebecca. I've become so used to seeing you every day for our workouts.” The forlorn expression on his face sent a pang through my heart. I really cared for Kurt. He was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I also knew I could never love him the way a woman loved her man. It was strange how I just knew it.

  “I’ll miss you too, but I won’t be away for long. After the event, I need to stay another day and then I’ll be back before you know it. Besides, you may just meet the girl of your dreams while I’m gone.”

  Just as I’d confided in Kurt about my
past relationships, he’d told me about breaking up with the only girlfriend he ever had three years ago and how she’d broken his heart and his trust in women. Because of his experience he was able to help me get over Alain, urging me to work through the pain but also to let it go and move forward with my life, yet his own fear of opening up to the possibilities of love were still holding him back. He’d moved forward in every aspect except in opening his heart again. I wanted to help him as much as he had helped me.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and looked away from me. I leaned over and placed my hand on his arm. “Hush. One day you will meet the right girl, and you’ll just know. Trust me on this, okay?”

  He nodded. “Okay, but she better be as pretty and as sexy as you.” He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. At least he could joke about it—that was a good start.

  I swatted his arm, laughing. “Just you wait and see. She’s going to steal your breath away. I promise.” I winked at him playfully as I got to my feet.

  Reaching up on tiptoes, I kissed his cheek. “Be patient, my friend. Love will come to you when you least expect it. It has a sneaky way of blindsiding a person, so be warned.”

  He pulled me into his embrace and held me, his forehead against mine. “The man who finally wins your heart for keeps is going to be the luckiest bastard on Earth,” he said softly.

  “If I ever find him. My heart is stubborn. It doesn’t like to be told what to do,” I whispered.

  It had taken me weeks to get over Alain, to work through what had happened and accept that he wasn’t the man for me. There were nights when I doubted my decision and nearly caved in, times when I wanted so badly to hear his voice that my finger hovered over the green button when he called or sent a message.

  Kurt helped me stay strong and to see that I deserved so much more than what Alain had offered. As for drinking at the bar, I’d only go on nights when he worked and he’d serve his cranberry concoction that he claimed he named after me. Red Hellion. I couldn’t help laughing at my behavior and when I looked back now, I could see how far I’d come since those early days when I just wanted to be oblivious to life and drown my sorrows.